5 Mindsets to Win at LifeDec 12, 2022
If you're struggling to get what you want out of life, read this:
I failed at online business for 5 years.
I worked hard at it too. I bought courses, took action, published often, built an email list, and created info-products.
But my income never exceeded $10K — over the entire 5 years.
One of my biggest flaws was keeping to myself. I thought I could type away at my keyboard and make big money from my computer.
Don't get me wrong, this is achievable. But there was a problem.
I wasn't getting feedback on the courses I created. I believed my advice was good, but had no way to know with certainty.
This is one reason I like coaching (and teaching it to others) — you learn what works and what doesn't. You get better at helping people and you create info-products that deliver results.
But my strategy wasn't the only problem.
Coaching scared me. Working with people one-on-one made nervous. Which is fine, if I don't let it stop me from trying.
But it did stop me. Instead of leaning into my fear, I avoided it.
I may have had a bad strategy. But worse, I had a bad mindset — that I should avoid scary things.
That not trying is better than failing, getting rejected, or showing weakness.
But it's not.
Poor Mindsets Keep You Poor and Unhappy
I was lucky.
After college, my uncle created a company that launched ETFs on the New York Stock Exchange — and I got in at the beginning. I wanted to work in finance and got an opportunity most people don't have access to.
I was pumped.
That job took me to Santa Fe, New Mexico, a state I'd never been to.
Starting a new life in a new city excited me. I could reinvent myself because no one knew me.
I wanted to make friends, build a social circle, and be free — like a young, single person making decent money.
But things didn't go as planned. Even though I'd been studying social skills for three years, I struggled to make new friends.
Taking action wasn't my issue. I went to bars and other places to meet people. But I couldn't create interesting conversation that led to making friends.
Within a month, frustration turned into depression.
I remember coming home from the bar deflated because I didn't talk to a single person.
But one day, after reading the book Yes Man, I shifted my mindset.
And that was all I needed. In less than one month, I made friends, got invited to parties, and my social circle grew fast.
I wondered — was my mindset this important?
It turns out, it was.
What Do You Believe?
Over the years, I've learned a lot about the importance of our beliefs.
When you develop the right mindsets:
- You attract higher-quality people
- You learn, grow, improve, and succeed
- You persevere with your audacious goals
- You overcome dieting obstacles and lifting plateaus
The best way to become limitless is to master your mindsets.
They impact every part of your life, because they form a ceiling for your achievements.
The better your beliefs, the higher the ceiling (and closer to limitless you become).
The worse your mindsets, the lower your ceiling.
Peter Sage sums it up perfectly:
"People never rise above the opinion of themselves." - Peter Sage
If you don't believe you can achieve something, you won't.
The best way to fail is to think you can't do something.
Mindset are simply beliefs.
Positive beliefs lead to good thoughts, negative beliefs lead to bad ones.
Good thoughts lead to productive action, bad thoughts lead to self-sabotage or inaction.
Productive action leads to success, self-sabotage (and inaction) lead to failure.
If you choose good beliefs, you'll create the life you want.
This isn't hocus pocus. It's backed up by decades of scientific research and studies.
For example, studies have proven that:
- Pain relievers are more effective when the recipient knows they are being administered
- People release less ghrelin (the "hunger hormone") when they believe a food is low in calories, even if it isn't
- When people learn that stress is beneficial, their health and happiness improve — even if their lifestyle remains the same
And this is a tiny fraction of the studies coming to this conclusion.
Carol Dweck, one of the leading researchers on mindset, explains it well with this quote:
“Talent isn’t passed down in the genes; it’s passed down in the mindset.” - Carol Dweck
Having skills is less important than believing they're attainable.
Your opportunities are endless with the right mindsets.
You Can Choose Your Beliefs
Changing your beliefs is easier than you think.
To explain how, we need to start with this Zach Homol quote:
“Unearned confidence is arrogance. If you want it, you must earn it.” - Zach Homol
I love this quote, especially in today's world of endless entitlement. But some people don't understand that doing requires a belief first.
They say things like: “If I’m fat, I can’t just believe I’m healthy. That won't make it true.”
And I agree. Lying doesn't change reality. So people wonder, what comes first, the chicken or the egg?
"Do I lie and then it becomes true? Or do I make it true, then believe it — in which case my mindset is irrelevant."
"If I have to get in shape first before I believe I’m a healthy person, then my belief didn’t make that happen."
But they are missing one key point:
First, you make the decision to become healthy. You don’t start by saying you're a healthy person. You say, “I am now a person who cares about my health.”
The most powerful story you'll ever tell is the story you tell yourself every day.— Dakota Robertson (@WrongsToWrite) December 6, 2022
Let's say you always have a regular Coke after lunch. Then, to get in better shape, you switch to Diet Coke.
Your coworker says, "WTF, you never drink Diet Coke."
You respond, “I’m focused on losing weight by reducing my calorie intake" — because you decided to make a change.
The more you say it, the more you adopt the belief, and the more will become that type of person.
You’ll spend more time finding ways to eat healthier. You'll find new ways to overcome dieting obstacles, like snacking and overeating.
When you believe you can do it, you can.
This isn't limited to specific goals like making money and losing weight.
If you want to achieve success in all areas of life, there are five critical mindsets you must develop:
5 Mindsets that Will Change Your Life Forever
There are five universal mindsets that extend to all areas of life. When you adopt these, you make goal-focused decisions on autopilot.
And remember, it doesn't start with a lie. It starts with a decision to become a specific type of person.
1) Confidence Mindset
Confidence Mindset: The belief that you are an awesome person with an amazing life and that you can accomplish anything you choose.
Countless people with less intelligence, resources, and opportunities have accomplished greatness.
Colonel Sanders retired broke at 65 years old, then went on to create KFC.
Find real-life rags-to-riches stories and read them.
It's not a matter of whether you can or can't. It's a matter of whether you believe you can.
Spend less time with people who tell you what you can't do and more time with people encouraging your goals.
Choose to be someone who enjoys life.
Choose to be someone who does good things.
Choose to believe that your goals are possible, because they are.
2) Abundance Mindset
Abundance Mindset: The belief that you have infinite options and opportunities.
This belief spreads to every area of your life.
Its opposite, the scarcity mindset, is everywhere:
- "If I botch this job interview, I won't get a good job."
- "If I screw up this date, I'll never find a girlfriend."
- "If my launch flops, I'll be stuck in my 9-5 forever."
These aren't truths. They're shitty beliefs.
Opportunity is abundant. Your options are infinite.
When you believe this, you do the best you can without worry. You perform better.
And when you don't, it's not a big deal. You push forward and look for the next one.
Choose to not worry about the future.
Choose to not dwell on the past.
Choose to take action, do your best, and learn from it.
Move on because you know there are always more opportunities.
3) Growth Mindset
Growth Mindset: The belief that you can learn anything you want and achieve anything you put your mind to.
The opposite of this, the fixed mindset, is everywhere:
- "I'm not tech savvy."
- "I can't say no to free donuts."
- "I'm not good at talking to strangers."
You can do these things, if you believe you can.
Humans are able to learn new skills at any age when they believe they can.
If you don't believe you can create a successful side-hustle, it will lead to self-sabotage. At the first failure, obstacle, or plateau, you'll tell yourself, "See, I knew this wouldn't work."
You'll give up — because why would you waste your time and energy doing something you know won't work.
Choose to be someone who doesn't stop learning.
Choose to try new things, even if you could fail.
Choose to learn from your mistakes.
Those are learning opportunities, not definitions of your ability.
4) Proactive Mindset
Proactive Mindset: The belief that the only way to live the life you want is to take action and design it yourself.
The opposite of this is the victim mindset.
When you play victim, nothing is your fault. It sounds good at first, but you also don't have the power to change anything. Others are in control, not you.
This not the truth. It's a perspective, a belief.
As a victim, you can only react to the things around you.
- When someone makes the coffee too strong, you blame them.
- When your job doesn't pay enough, you blame your boss.
- When your wife doesn't have sex, you blame her.
If your problems aren't your fault, you can't change them.
When you adopt the proactive mindset, you choose to act today to create the tomorrow you want. Everything in your life is your fault.
It's scary at first, but it's freeing because you can do something about it.
If you don't like your job, you take responsibility for it:
- "I could start a side-hustle and take that full-time."
- "I could develop new skills and become more valuable."
- "I could look for this same job with a company that's a better fit."
Know that you can achieve what you want, even if you aren't there yet. Because you know that you will do what it takes to learn the skills you need.
Choose to take responsibility.
Choose to take action.
Choose to create the life you want.
5) Truth Mindset
Truth Mindset: The belief that the truth is more important than your assumptions and emotions.
Finding and accepting the truth isn't always easy.
First, you have to admit that you don't have all the answers.
Then, you have to seek it out the truth.
As a coach, it's easy to blame my clients if they aren't getting results (typical victim mindset). "My process works — they're not doing it right."
That could very well be the truth. But it might not be.
With the Truth Mindset, I have to be open to seeing the flaws in my process.
I have to be willing to find the errors, issues, or problems. And I have to put effort into finding better solutions.
Many people use their emotions as truth: "I'm mad at my wife because she won't have sex."
Again, victim mindset.
But the Truth Mindset allows you to find the reason why.
- "Am I making her feel loved?"
- "Am I getting her in the mood?"
- "Does she have other stresses I need to help relieve?"
When you're willing to seek the truth, you have a chance to be proactive to solve the problem.
Become the person who chooses to find the truth, even if it's the tougher path.
It All Starts With One Decision
True learning requires unlearning. Unlearning past beliefs, past habits, and past advice that doesn't serve the level you've reached. The most naive thing you can do is think there is an end to growth.— DAN KOE (@thedankoe) October 16, 2022
If you have any poor mindsets, they will hold you back.
You can't change this fact.
But you can change your beliefs.
As Dan says, "True learning requires unlearning."
You need to understand — those poor beliefs are not facts. Once you adopt the five Success Mindsets, you'll automatically do things that move you closer to your goals.
Here's a quick recap of the five Success Mindsets:
- Confidence Mindset
- Abundance Mindset
- Growth Mindset
- Proactive Mindset
- Truth Mindset
Instill these beliefs and your life will improve without question.
It all starts with one simple decision — the decision to believe them.
- Rob Riker
Upgrading my mindsets and skills (via coaching and courses) helped me leave my 9-5. Now I run my online coaching business full time.
If you're frustrated with your 9-5 or want to build an online business on the side, I might be able to help.
I help online coaches (beginners and those who haven't started) ramp up to $10K/month in 6 months.
If you're an aspiring online coach — or if this sounds intriguing — click here to learn more about my coaching program.
Or reach out with any questions.
Enjoy your Monday :)